I guess nobody will be here to read this post. Probably this would be better.

I haven't been letting out my emotions for a very long time. I have become someone who doesn't want to speak out, doesn't want ppl's care and concern, just want to be alone. Practically, I am a loner now! It fears me to rely too much on friends anymore cos I am afraid of disappointments yet again. Now, I rarely receive random messages from friends asking how are you etc. Sometimes, my phone doesn't even ring for the whole day. Its actually mostly my fault. I think I don't even bother to text or call my friends now. Why have I become like this? When I hang out with friends, I pretend to be happy, but it isn't so. Everyday, there are so many things bothering me. Probably is me who can't let go all these things. Its probably time to change my mindset. I need to get back to how I used to be. But can I return back to last time? Things have changed. My thoughts and feelings have also changed. Probably I need to find another goal for life so that I could stand up once again. But what would it be? I seriously do not know. Have never got so aimless. Last time, at least I could aim to study hard and get good grades. But what about now? I hope to go back to school actually. But it seem difficult, with the results I have. Go overseas to study? I don't have the money. Stay in Singapore, I can't even get into local university. Study what shit! Life has totally become meaningless. Want to excel in music? I can't even play well. I don't even have the talent. Hope to get achievements from my job? I am jobless now. And morever, without a degree, you can't find any sense of achievement from your job. You don't even get any recognition. Pardon me for this. I totally hate working with ppl from "C, M and I". They totally CMI. But how come they actually get more recognition than us? Ok, If they are good, I have nothing to say. But they are lousy, useless. What has this place become?