Please bless my friend! Tell me that she will pull through this hurdle and everything will be fine. This year seems unpleasant!

Many ppl around me have health problems. First is my auntie, now is my friend. Its just less than half a year gone, and so many things has happened. I hope nothing else bad is coming up. I'm not a true God believer but I want to pray for her. God, please bless her. Give her all the ability and courage to conquer this illness! Bless her and her family and provide them all the comfort and support from these pains!
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I guess nobody will be here to read this post. Probably this would be better.

I haven't been letting out my emotions for a very long time. I have become someone who doesn't want to speak out, doesn't want ppl's care and concern, just want to be alone. Practically, I am a loner now! It fears me to rely too much on friends anymore cos I am afraid of disappointments yet again. Now, I rarely receive random messages from friends asking how are you etc. Sometimes, my phone doesn't even ring for the whole day. Its actually mostly my fault. I think I don't even bother to text or call my friends now. Why have I become like this? When I hang out with friends, I pretend to be happy, but it isn't so. Everyday, there are so many things bothering me. Probably is me who can't let go all these things. Its probably time to change my mindset. I need to get back to how I used to be. But can I return back to last time? Things have changed. My thoughts and feelings have also changed. Probably I need to find another goal for life so that I could stand up once again. But what would it be? I seriously do not know. Have never got so aimless. Last time, at least I could aim to study hard and get good grades. But what about now? I hope to go back to school actually. But it seem difficult, with the results I have. Go overseas to study? I don't have the money. Stay in Singapore, I can't even get into local university. Study what shit! Life has totally become meaningless. Want to excel in music? I can't even play well. I don't even have the talent. Hope to get achievements from my job? I am jobless now. And morever, without a degree, you can't find any sense of achievement from your job. You don't even get any recognition. Pardon me for this. I totally hate working with ppl from "C, M and I". They totally CMI. But how come they actually get more recognition than us? Ok, If they are good, I have nothing to say. But they are lousy, useless. What has this place become? Read more!

Birthday over for a week already.
I am officially 20!
Special thanks to great friends n family whom helped celebrated my birthday!
Promise photos to be updated soon.

Thanks to:

2030. Received their present the first. Jolie especially, for the nice decorated card. I totally love it! MUACKS!

My family n relatives. they gathered to help me celebrate my birthday.

Shiyng n ru for helping me celebrate it on the exact day! love u girls! 12 years of friendship or even more, and still going strong! Really thankful to have the both of u. Although now we dont meet often, but always feel as close as ever! =)

Sean for spending time to talk to me over skype during dat day, although I know u were busy preparing for your papers. Of cos not forgetting that present that took a long plane journey to singapore. I think the shipping is expensive!

Lastly, everyone who wished me happy birthday! =D

I made 3 birthday wishes this year. will they come true?

Anyway, I've started working already, if some of u still doesnt know. Work is good so far but pretty tiring. Motivation are pay days and weekends n public holidays! =)) Read more!

DIPLOMA AWARDED!! =D I'm finally a graduate from SP.

Well, I was expecting A for LabManagement and Advanced Organic Chem. But ended up getting B+. But something makes me real proud! I finally gotten my FIRST distinction. I also never expect to get B+ for ICP. This is totally miracle. haha.

Although cumulative gpa kinda lousy, but I'm so happy to finally complete my diploma. Not sure if I could get into NTU with this result.. But anyhow, get a job first! I'm job hunting now. Went to Wyeth for interview ytd but I didn't quite like the position they offered me. And Tuas is damn far. But I think I must remain flexible as most MNC or famous companies are all at that area. Wish me gd luck ok? I just applied for Abbott and I hope they will shortlist me for the interview.. =)

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Randoms =)

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Attended my 2nd driving lesson today.. It is fun. So far, I pretty enjoy. But den, my legs are tired. Next lesson will be coming tuesday! =D Read more!

Currently at Singapore General Hospital, waiting for my mum to finish her eye operation. gosh, I'm here for almost 3 hours. Really bored. so luckily I brought my laptop here!

Oh! This is like my 3rd week of holiday. Have started sending out resumes to apply for jobs. But so far, no news. So sad. Must get a job soon or I will be too bored and super broke. I havent been doing much catching up with friends, except for melissa, fiona, serena and friends. The rest are either in university or working. So when I'm free on weekdays, they are not!

Anyway, I am starting driving lesson on wed.. Very excited! Hope to get my licence soon. den i could drive my godmum's car.. OOPPS!

My New Zealand cousin, Dan, is coming to Singapore for holiday this year end. He will be here for close to 2 months. So I will try to entertain him during this period. I seriously dunno where to bring him to as I myself cant appreciate Singapore attractions much. I guess compared to Auckland, Singapore is rather small and anyone can finish exploring the whole of it in like 2 weeks! It will be a hard time planning for plenty of activities for him. Anyone organising chalet or bbq during year-end, pls tell me! den i can bring him there.. HAHAHA.

Will be uploading some photos soon on my outings with some great friends!

I wanna go KBOX again! It is do addictive. I still prefer to hear my singing than melissa's. The past two times I went out with her, she sang non-stop. And I really mean, non-stop. She could sing for the whole day, without even feeling tired or bored. Super high. But it did keep us entertained. Somehow I enjoy it.. LOL! Read more!

In a few weeks time, I will be graduating and moving onto a new kind of life. It is confirmed that I will officially start working as a full-time. I am still not sure which industry to venture in.. Pharmaceutical? Fragrance? Cosmetics? Research? I shall apply everything that I think is relevant, Den see which company is gg to accept me! My aim shall me to learn new things and gain job experiences. I had roleplay interview last week. It was not a real job interview. It is just one of my language module.. haha. Ms Khoo posted this qns, "what will you see yourself in 5 years time?" Hmmm... Maybe I should start thinking abt this harder. But one thing, I know I want to have a gd career by then and a stable relationship. I often receive comments from working adults that time pass very fast once u start working. SO i guess it will be really fast.. haha Read more!

Yesterday was totally fun and enjoyable! I actually prepared to study after my practical lesson. But den, I ended up going for movie, arcade and shopping! haha. I nv played so hard for so many months already. I went to watch the movie UP, played the japanese daiko drum at arcade with renyu and jeslyn and den went shopping with jieting! I spent a lot of money. But I love the feeling of using all the money. OOPS! i bought an ESPRIT top at $ 79.00 less 25%! Ytd was totally a day for de-stress..

anw, the japanese daiko drum was so fun! but i jus couldn't master it. i thought the suntec city's machine more easy to play.. haha. I will master it soon! =D Read more!

FYP report down. I thought everything will be more relax after submission of the report. But I'm wrong.. so many upcoming tests, need to prepare for FYP presentation and unknowingly, it will be time to take my last exams in poly..

Yiying, must really Jia You! =D Read more!

I was LUCKY! I was studying at national library last sat. There was ndp parade dat day and at the end of the everything, I saw fireworks! The view was pretty good and I could see most of it. I am looking forward to the fireworks festival. I wanna go! I missed it last year cos of exam. This year no matter what also must go see!! =D

1 more week to fyp report submission. 3 more weeks to fyp presentation. 4 more weeks to exam.. 6 more weeks to graduation! JIA YOU! Read more!

today i was at changi airport swensens having dinner with jieting. we saw a very cute little girl near our table. and i was making funny faces and everything to her. after dat we realised the mother of this girl was our sec sch chem teacher.. but we did not approach her cos i knew she had a bad impression of our class and i doubt she remembers us. although i scored well for her subject k! haha.

oh yes! i was told about this really hilarious story. dis is so unbelievable! i'm wondering if dis person has split personalitiesss. notice is not jus one but many.....

someone says i'm going to receive present after 3rd august, which is after my fyp submission. =D Read more!

I need to cut down on eating.. I ate a lot on last weekend. Sat went geylang had frog leg porridge at 11pm. came home celebrated my daddy's bday and cut cake. and after eating everything, i went to bed at 3am. Sun evening went fish n co to celebrate daddy's bday. haha. interestingly, it seems like every month my family and relatives will have meet-up session. This month we gathered to celebrate my daddy's bday. nxt month will my godmum's, following months will have more birthdays to come.. It is nice meeting up with cousins and the uncles n aunties.. except for dat irritating cousin =@

anyhow, i keep reminding myself to JIA YOU for the last 5 weeks. after dat, I will be free!!! friends are encouraging, i really love them.. thx for making me feel I'm loved by everyone. Read more!

my lecturer told me something ytd..

Mrs Choo: I think you will make a good teacher. Has anyone told you before?
Me: Really?? You are the first to say this.
Mrs Choo: Have you thought of becoming one?
Me: Erm... not really. I thought of it when i was younger, but no longer..
Mrs Choo: Oic. So what do u intend to do after u graduate...
so we went blah blah blah..
and she said something in the end..
Mrs Choo: I am sure you will make a good worker wherever you go, with your positive attitude and cheerfulness. Good upbringing from your parents.. haha

I am sure my parents will be damn proud if they hear dis.

Speaking, I really think I've grown mature over the years. I was more dependent back in my sec sch days. Maybe at that time there were not many deicisions I need to make, and everything went through smoothly. Everything was planned my my parents.. I think poly has made me grown to become independent. I realise picking up from mistakes will make a person even stronger.

Dr Lim shared something really interesting to the class about SARAH. He said...

Sad: when you get bad results, u get sad.
Angry: After dat you get angry.
Reject: Then you start to reject it.
Accept: But after sometime, you learn to accept.
Hope: After accepting, then you there will be hope.

I really agree to this saying.. It applies to everything in life.. If people are able to accept things and make improvements, den it is really hope. Read more!

读了几个朋友的blog. 我真的真的非常想念她们. 但不懂她们是否也一样, 一起出门时会想起我, 提起我, 就算是那么一点我就满足了. 朋友之间的感情和默契好像真的需要好多时间来经营的. 但我现在真的非常no life. 跟本没多少时间和他们出门. 希望到我比较有空时才找她们不会太迟吧! 我还是想告诉她们, 我真的很想念和大家出门, high翻天, 唱ktv, 拍几百张照片, 有说有笑的日子. Read more!

i'm so glad i have a study kaki again.. she is wong jie ting! chiong-ing report and studying with her presence simply makes me feel much more interesting. i can gossip to her abt the "seed" and she will always laugh like mad. now she knows almost everything already. i feel rather bad to gossip and reveal so many things abt the "seed". but den, i got no self-control.

If you cannot improve on the silence, then keep your mouth shut. -said by dr lim during lecture last week. Read more!

I feel slightly able to breathe now.. because my fyp report deadline is on 3rd august.. means I still have time.. but still can't take it lightly.. anyhow, i finally gt praised by my supervisor. she's pleased with my performance.. she knows I'm trying very hard.. =)) i feel much more motivated now.. my MST results sucks. although I didn't fail any module, but is bad enough cos all C, except one is B+.. I will put in my best for the final exam. Read more!

everyone's talking about shopping! Tell all of you something, I am quite rich now since I haven't been doing any shopping and hanging outside. I wanna do shopping, since it is GSS. Sales everywhere. But I couldn't find the time, even if I have the time, I am too tired to come out. Oh, I suddenly sound so homely.... Read more!

I'm gg to dedicate every of my time to FYP and study from now till I graduate.

Thx Ting and Sean for always lending me a pair of listening ears. You all have been really encouraging. Also not forgetting friends that specially sms/msn to ask me to jia you! I really didn't expect this from some cos we ain't close at all to start with. But dey actually msn me to encourage me. Isn't this very sweet? Plain friendship can be really nice too. Some closer friends may not have done this. Maybe not even notice it. Anyhow, I feel appreciated. I can and will be able to make it!! =)

Comments from some that I look tired and listless nowadays. I guess its true because I feel weak. I totally have no appetite this whole week. I tried to eat delicious food, but end up I didn't even finish half. So I have been drinking fruit juice and milk to fill my stomach. My appetite pls come back. Read more!

I wished this person had not told me about all the secrets. It really freaks me out in some way.. Ok, I noe I sound really bad, but this is really how I feel.. This is really too big a secret. I would rather keep guessing and act blur than to know everything.. Now, I can't act blur anymore because the person has told me this secret. And I must continue to listen to all this.. Worse thing is when ppl ask me about this, I can't tell them the truth.. Well, guess only Jieting knows what I'm saying. Read more!